I feel that I’m a little late to the party in reaching this conclusion, but I think that with The Dark Room, John Robertson may have inadvertently created the comedy version of The Rocky Horror Show.

But before I justify that rather context-requiring conclusion, I wanted to show some love to the Gilded Balloon projector work. The exterior of the Patter Hoose is an explosion of animated pink, green and blue neon that somehow manages to complement the gothic surroundings.

And whilst the bar in the venue has also been given a fun makeover, the selection of spirits remains rather less inventive. Standard staples and zero gin options is almost criminal! Thankfully, vodka goes with everything, and their ‘double shot plus mixer for a tenner’ helped us get over our trauma.

From the bar, we head to the basement. Personally, I think it’s incredibly weird to feel excited whilst walking into a room (especially a basement!) with the words “You are all about to die” flashing on the wall in front of you, but that is exactly the situation we find ourselves in in this gloriously daft take on text-based choose-your-own adventure games. 

Now, back to the idea that the game’s thrillingly OTT host, John Robertson, is some sort of comedy Frank-N-Furter. Whilst they do both share a penchant for tight black tops with sparkles, this comparison is actually all about the fans.

They know the words. They join the chants. They wear the t-shirts. They know exactly what is going to happen (well, almost), and they turn up every year and thoroughly enjoy the experience.

From the ‘flamboyant potato’ to the lighthouse and the flirty Guard of Shadows, this show is a chaotic combination of silliness, fun and yelling “you die” at strangers.

And perhaps that’s the magic of The Dark Room. You don’t just go to watch Robertson perform; you become part of the madness. The audience knows the rituals, embraces the chaos and seems to be having just as much fun as the man on stage.

This is only our second visit to The Dark Room, but I’m not sure we want to escape. Maybe we’re becoming one of its ‘creatures of the night’.

Clown Stars: * * * * *

@Gilded Balloon, Edinburgh